but i'm always open to give someone a chance to be very close & dear to me.

The meeting between you and I was quite a random occurrence.

Frankly, I had never met someone so strangely quiet yet straightforward.
You told me to ignore everyone else and let go.

everyone saw it coming.

( uh-may-zing! )

“ How can we still be friends when seeing you only breaks my heart again? ”
— You Keep Me Hangin’ On by The Supreme

Today marks the 18th and ...

Happy 15th Birthday Shuying and Janelle (=

To shuying;

Even though I'm not close to you, I'm happy enough we're in the same class this year so the bonds are getting stronger. I am very open and if you're comfortable, you can always approach me whenever you're down and I'll be glad to lift the weight from your shoulders. I can't take away all the hurt and the pain that you hide. I will comfort you. Of course, you can say anything you need to, cry as many tears as it takes. Anyway, during your sad days, just remember that, your tears weren't meaningless and your prayers will be listened by God. Your road to happiness and meaningful life will be illuminated so never give up so quickly. You can overcome any challenges. Hope has not fled. Call on your faith to uphold you. Chase your dreams! I hope your day is full of hugs and love.

For love, remember, you deserve so much better. pnly accept the love you think you deserve.

-----

Today at singapore poly was okay just that in the morning I felt so sleepy and trying my best to keep myself awake ): Is hours and hours of lectures. Its too advance for me. Tomorrow we'll have that stupid apple pie again. I have to remind myself to bring my own breakfast meal tomorrow. Apple pie sucks ok! Well, experiment was funnnnnnn! and busride back to school was funneh. we recorded a very longggggggggg video! And my voice is like BREAKING. grr. oh yeah. during the lecture, i could even surf the internet lah. this is to keep myself awake! hahahaha. And hope Azirah is fineeee. We kinda keep getting sleepy now and then.

OMG SINGAPORE IDOL LATER. GOOD LUCK TOP 5! And all the best Sylvia (:
-
I claimed to be strong but the reality is, I'm not. I lied when I said I could make it on my own.

I left to many little things unspoken, too many things never passed my lips.
I wasn’t beautiful once. You try to convince me, but underneath I am still a dirt now.
I've never got to fly. It was borrowed wings. I've only got a tiny piece of heaven with me.
Eventually, I'm going straight to hell. Perhaps someday, I'll bid a silent farewell.

EH HI.

Todehh is the first day of forensics science at Singapore Poly.
OH MY GAWD. I don't know how to adapt when its my turn.
I didn't know there are more than five food courts and there's Macdonald.
Hahahaha, blimey! Mac(L), everyday eat eat mac can grow fat.

Lecture was cool at first but it gets boring and boring. Azirah and I were close to falling asleep. Also, most of my classmates were feeling so cold inside the hawa-dingin room. hahaha. alright, then free mac breakfaaaaast! Blablabla. Then we had two hour break. Then it was practical. Its good cause we don't need to plot graph since there's COMPUTER hahaha. if not i'll be lazy. but the bad news is, there's gonna be tests and presentation. even though im okay in presentation (ive got no speech problem), it gives me shivers.

I don't want you to win lah -.- in case you know who im talking about. im also getting so sick of, aaah whatever lah. sg will make the wrong choice. i think is expected whose gonna win. time for miracles! (oh so adam lambert!) MARIAH CAREY ROCKS! the longest octaves. leona lewis too!!!!!! :D

Dammit. Why am I so obsessed with Singapore Idol. I miss HADY!!!! ): And of course, go syl go go! i should have taken photo with her that time. I'm so scared for the song choice ): ergh. Hopefully everything goes well this wednesday. If she's eliminated, i won't even wanna watch singapore idol any more, i won't be as enthusiastic manz. but then i would still go for the originality, Sezairi aka Airi! but stil. hahahaha. ):

alright. im addicted to all songs sang by sylvia. dammit manz. she's so cute. hahaha. so cute the singapore idol bloggers, kinda said that faizal got a crush on sylvia. actually, they look cute together and age doesn't matter! hahahs. but i dont think is true lah.

i watch 2012 alreay. its BLOODY GOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. AWESOME.with cool visual effects and stufffffffffff. but its so frightening, scares my ass off.

*ive been playing sorority life the whole dayyy? this game is so addictive????

alright whatever. happpy birthday weeky.

don't throw out the talents.

i'll be fucking pissed if Sylvia Ratonel is not in the top 2.

I'm despondent. Getting fucked up with every single thang. Not sure if is pms-ish knncb attiude but my mood keeps fluctating now and then.

Let me recall what actually happen but ain't gonna be precise;

FEEL-SICKS (PHYSICS) was always a bore, but hilarious. Well, ray diagrams, and Mr Sim scares me ): He made it sounds Pure Physics in o levels gonna be so hard. Oh well, I'm not going to survive his qualifying test anyway -.- Is so expected even if I studied my ass for it! Pure bio is always biol. Did the smokers' experiment lungz thingy, and we didn't smoke at all dumbazzez! But it was pretty excitting. Afterall, the worst thing you would face is the smell and your throat will hurt big time if you inhale it. And then my friend ask teacher about shisha. I thought it was only water droplets kinda thing but teacher said is worst than smoking cause got the dunno what. aiya. Wasn't actually paying attention. I don't give a damn anyway. Oh other than that, weather is like super cold. Seems like I kept wearing my jacket. HAHA. Jolyn seah is very irritating!!!!!!!

Todaaaay was just bloody fry-daaay. Yeah, coicidentally met with Azirah and Cheng Bo again! Hmm. English first. Oral skills. Hah. Aww man. I love Mdm Ng! She's so dramatic and that makes the lesson so much livelier. Is her actions that are funneh and humorous. I brought along my kinder suprise (not kinderjoy) and it captured almost everyone's attention. Oh wellz, they were just wonderin cuz they thought kinder suprise had extinct. you know what i mean (: Jolyn seah and I crapped all the way! Hahaha. you idiot, my pronunciation is better than yours please you sexy voice girl. HAAA. luckily i wasn't called out. I would be giggling and grinning all the way instead of reading the paragraph. Ok shit. Chem did anions experiment. I hate experiments now since i screwed my first o level chem spa even though is simple. I tell you, I always screw up in major exams, don't know if its a curse or something . Recess . Before that, short meeting for forensics. 16-20 November. Azirah was shocked. She was chosen to be the leader. Haha. dah kena amek attendance. it is held at singapore poly from morning till evening but lunch is provided.

Oh yeah. SS. Mr Tan wasn't there. So yeah. we just did corrections. BElieve it or not, old super hilarious moments suddenly came flashing into my mind one by one. I dont know whats wrong sia. And then I kept giggling duh, who won't. the whole class was actually distracted . the room was so cold lahn -.- hah. and then everyone kept looking back glancing at me. norris kept telling me to shut up. haha. but iwas til copying and it was my worst handwriting ever. so freaking humongous i tell you. but zayanah as slower. thanks to me making her laugh too. hahaa. she was like, "whats wrong with you, why" this and that. haha. because nobody had a single clue why im laughing all of a sudden. thats how crazy i am. hehe. then took malay practice papers. i just don't seee whats the point. i know my malay sucks big time and i have to accept this painful fact. i asked teacher regardles what the result is going to be and she allows me to retake. well, if i retake thar doesnt mean my score is going to be good. ergh. i dont know. why my malay is not as good as my friends and why it ain't superb as my sis. why can't i do expository compo? why my narrative is so typical? why am i actualy siting for o levl maly this year? shit. shit. shit. shit. shit. i already know malay oral (which ive got no practice throughout my sec years), my lc ALL SCREWED UP. fuckkkkk. ))))): i regret crying my eyes out to get into hmt -.- cuz i dont see whats the point of it. i doubt ill be entering jc since my sis makes me feel so tramautized .

tomorrow maybe i might be going out to jurong point. hehe.

my sis says she has never felt so pressurized and scared before. i mean like yeah. even if she gets to enter uni, overseas or what, the fee would be damn expensive. and imagine going there alone. especialy if you got no malay friends. wow, thats harder.

p.s I HATE USING MY SI'S LAPTOP. the keyboard makes me life difficult and yeah. the whole thing sucks. sory for any spelig errors. ha.

I'm despondent. Actually more like I'm fucked up with every single thing happening in my life. I don't know if pms or what but my mood fluctates now and then.

Let me recall what actually happen;

I remembered yesterday physics lesson was sucha bore. Always. But it was hilarious! I love to tease Mr Sim! (: Pure bio, well, did experiment on smokers' lungs. We didn't actualy smoke lah dumbazzez. Hah. Exciting but the smoke, I assumed I kept inhaling it, so yeah, it hurts my throat ): I'm lazy to elaborate further.

I don't see whats the point of doing those malay practice papers. Is never like math. I think is too late to practice. I'm definitely gonna retake if my grade is unsatisfying. Who cares whatever people say if Cikgu says I could still retake. I mean I've gotta accept the fact my malay actually sucks big time.

ohhlala marheyaaaa!

I shouldn't slouch and slouch and slouch. I'm already small with narrow shoulder and I'm slouching. Haha.
Sooo, if I stand up straight, I'm actually taller than some people ^^ Just that I'm small, heh.

Rigggggght, there's nothing much to say. Now its already november! Can't wait and so eager for class chalet. Also, forensic workshop for don't-know-how many days. I'm recommending you to read Fatal Seduction ll. Thanks, my hatred for men is worst now. Lol. But I still ....... hehehe :D

I've been singing and getting crazy with the song "EGO". HAHAHA!
whats with primary school maths, getting tougher? i ain't kidding yo, primary five students have to buy calculator, its compulsory. Oh shiatzzzzzz. And then people kept failing. Ergh.

yesterday I teased meera, from meena chi to meera chi! hahaha and she calls me kueh koci ? aww .
wani owns the kewlest twilight back scenes or whatever book . check it out at the famous popular, 30+ bucks.

And ohhhh, there's too many people compliment me saying I smell nice? I mean are you sure? -.- HAHAH.

Zayanah is so, a pain in the ass. Heh jk

you know sitting beside carrie just now, was greaaat.
im not exactly happy with the chalet. no. as in the place. i hope this one is gonna be great. but i still know i will have lots of fun. but i just waaaaaaaaant, ARANDA OR ALOHA. haha. but never mind :D we're gonna rawk the house.

and girl, you're so wrong that i like/love got a crush on him or whatever. i just treat him like how i treat other guys and you can just call me a slut. thank god your 'good' friends 'informed' me. haha. aren't they nice? is it so nice to gossip me and stare at me from top to toe whenever im not looking at you?

this thing has been going on.
ive been nice keeping quiet about all this.

HAHA.
Pure bio lesson rawks just nowww. Pure chem too.

yes, im going to drop hmt. i talk to my mom already.
if im satisfy with this year's grade, i wont even continue with hmt next yr -.-
argh. i dont know if it benefits me? i mean, i still get it the same grade as my english.
and the only thing that pushes me was my paper one. and this year, who don't want to get an A1??!
if an A2? idk man. i feel like retaking stilll. i can still retake next yr at june or at the end of the year.
this year during june, many said it was so easy till students my school many get distinction.
well. if I get a B4, ill retake. if i get c6 the next time, i wont retake. because yeah, maybe B4 its my standard.

but ive achieved an A* for psle why this one its hard for me to ace?!!! is too late to start a malay blog now to practise. cuz for english, i think i use to have a blog so im very exposed. but still, people who doesnt have a blog still scores well? so whats the pointtttttttt. argh.

yayyy. ill be watching sg idol tonight. and this saturday, morning might be heading to gym.
but ive got no sport shoe, howw.

Enrique Iglesias, this spanish man :D

i know damn macho!